Irresistable USSailing joke straight line ....

[LaserBabee (at) AOL.COM]

WASHINGTON, DC-On Tuesday, Congress approved the Americans With No Abilities
Act, sweeping new legislation that provides benefits and protection for more
than 135 million talentless Americans.  The act, signed into law by
President Clinton shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major
victory for the millions upon millions of U.S. citizens who lack any real
skills or uses.
"Roughly 50 percent of Americans-through no fault of their own- do not
possess the talent necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves
in society," said Clinton, a longtime ANA supporter.
"Their lives are futile hamster-wheel existences of unrewarding, dead-end
busywork: Xeroxing documents written by others, filling out mail-in rebates
for Black & Decker toaster ovens, and processing bureaucratic forms that
nobody will ever see. Sadly, for these millions of nonabled Americans, the
American dream of working hard and moving up through the ranks is simply not
a reality."
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million
important-sounding "middle man" positions will be created in the
white-collar sector for nonabled persons, providing them with an illusory
sense of purpose and ability. Mandatory, non-performance-based raises and
promotions will also be offered to create a sense of upward mobility for
even the most unremarkable, utterly replaceable employees.
The legislation also provides corporations with incentives to hire nonabled
workers, including tax breaks for those who hire one non-germane worker for
every two talented hirees.
Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act also contains tough new
measures to prevent discrimination against the nonabled by banning
prospective employers from asking such job-interview questions as, "What can
you bring to this organization?" and "Do you have any special skills that
would make you an asset to this company?"
"As a nonabled person, I frequently find myself unable to keep up
with co-workers who have something going for them," said Mary Lou
Gertz, who lost her position as an unessential filing clerk at a
Minneapolis tile wholesaler last month because of her lack of
notable skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the
passage of the Americans With No Abilities Act, Gertz and millions of other
untalented, unessential citizens can finally see a light at the end of the
tunnel.
Said Clinton: "It is our duty, both as lawmakers and as human beings, to
provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her lack of
value to society, some sort of space to take up in this great nation."

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